It is the third tantrum of the day. Your child shows no signs of stopping. The ear-shattering screams are piercing the air. The kicking and yelling is downright frustrating. There has to be a better way to handle all this chaos.
Although such behaviour is more common in younger children, lapses in emotional control are seen more with adolescents these days. It’s time you commenced looking at these disasters as opportunities for education.
It’s important to understand that learning to deal with frustration is a skill that kids gain over time. Temper, tantrums, and tears are a medium for expressing hurt and disappointment in children. The signs flare up when they are upset about something, tired, uncomfortable or stopped from getting something they desperately desire to own.
This blog offers suggestions to deal with the temper, tears, and tantrums. Hope it takes you forward in the journey of being a happier parent.
Your job is to help the child. So you can’t complicate the issue by getting frustrated or angry yourself. You need to be calm. Hitting and spanking won’t help either. It will only aggravate the problem and lead to more negative behaviour in the future. Self-control is a must when handling your child’s emotional needs.
Evaluate the Reason
Handle tantrums in accordance with the reason behind the outburst. Sometimes the solution is comforting, while in some situations it may be advisable to ignore.
If the emotional outrage is an outcome of denial, stay quiet and don’t offer repetitive explanations for why your child can’t do a particular thing or have something. Once you have enforced a direction, don’t engage in any further discussion.
With pre-schoolers, it helps to distract their attention and move on to another activity. Redirect them to a book or toy.
With older children, it’s best to send them to their rooms to cool off. Tell your child to stay in the room until he gains control over his emotions. Removing them from the environment helps them disengage from the triggering factors.
Your child Deserves Your Support
When your child bursts out with feelings, slow down and listen. Go down to the eye level of your child and hear until she has finished with her story. If you are at a public place, move to a corner to attain some privacy.
Your child isn’t doing anything wrong. He is merely following his feelings to expel inner frustration. The upset emotion will heal if it’s allowed to drain out. Be there because your child needs you more now than ever.
After the Storm
Never reward your child after the outburst. It will pass the message that the tantrum worked and was effective. Instead, appreciate your child for regaining self-control.
Talk to your child about tantrums and emotions when in a better mood. Open communication on this subject will help the child evaluate and discover ways to handle the frustration and temper the next time she is in a similar circumstance.
Apart from learning ways to handle the temper, tears, and tantrums; look into the daily routine of your child as well. Ensure your child gets sufficient sleep. Inadequate sleep leads to hyper and disagreeable behaviour. A well-rested mind and body can drastically help reduce unnecessary emotional outburst.
Remember, whether your child is a pre-schooler or a teenager, this is a phase of growing up. These outbursts will gradually decrease with maturity. As they grow, children learn to cope with frustration.